chocolate

so i went bakc to work yeaterday, at sears. and ws meeting all the new employees that had been hired since i left. i met an african american named kevin who was vey friendly. every time i saw him he;d stop me to say hi and tell me my eyes were beautiful. i thought he was just being a dork.

later i was in the break room eating a candy bar this is exactly what happened...

kevin: hey hows break?
me: oh, just fine
kevin: so you like chocolate?
me: oh yeah i love chocolate
(dons on me...ooops)
kevin, yeah, vanilla's my favorite! *winks*


i tend to get myself into so many problems, i really like chocolate candy, that is what i meant, but idon't think we were taling about the same thing.

oh well

I did it!! i decided what i think i am goign to do in my life, and the wondrous occassion is this; i don't need to audition for the Musical Theatre BFA in order to do it!
the powers that be over there in theatre land don't have the right to tell me whether or not i am good enough to be in their 'elite' program.
i am goign to be able to eat while i am making my way in the theatre world. i am majoring in costume design with a very large minor in music. i am going to try out for the plays that i want, and not try out for the plays that i don't want. i am going to be on ballroom, and i am going to be happy!
i realized that they aren't going to be checking for a diploma at the door of audidtions in the real world. they don't care if your as educated as possible they just care if your good enough. so i will become good and get a trade that will make it so that i can eat without selling my soul.

Merry Christmas!!!!

So today I was at work and saw a sign that says Happy Holidays. Now that's all well and good, but as I kept looking around, there wasn't one sign that said Merry Christmas. Not a single one. I asked my boss about it and she said that because we are government based, (I work and the county recreational facility), we are only allowed "non-denominational merriment". That means we can't have a "Christmas party" but we can have a winter celebration.
This is so frustrating to me!! We are so worried about being politically correct, that we forget what is really behind the words themselves. When I come up to you and say Merry Christmas, I am not trying to convert you. I am not trying to make you believe in Christmas or even observe the holiday. This is what it really means is;
It means that I want you to be happy. I am sending you good wishes and thoughts. In my heart I am telling you that I wish you the best. Merry Christmas is a way to communicate good feelings associated with my specific beliefs.
If some one were to come up to me and say Happy Hanukah. I wouldn’t get all bent out of shape. In fact I would be honored that I was included in that persons beliefs and good wishes. If someone came up to me and wished me a Merry Beltane, I would do the same to them, because it obviously means something good to them, and very much so.
If you don’t believe in anything, Seasons greetings, would do just fine, it’s true. That means to me that in a season that is usually associated with happiness and good feelings, humility and gratitude, you want to be apart of the spirit of things in your own way. If that is how you do it, great!! Keep it up?
But please, don’t force the rest of us who do believe in Christmas holidays to change our way of expressing ourselves because of what you believe. This is a free country where a man is allowed
to worship however he likes. If that means that I say merry Christmas, then let me. No hurt is intended. In fact just the opposite. So to all of you out there in the world, whatever you believe:

Merry Christmas!!!!

War....*dun nah*, what is it good for?

Sigh…

That is not a sigh of sadness, of grief, or of pain. It is a sigh of one who is exhausted finally gets to breathe!!

A couple weeks have gone by in fast forward motion it seems. My life has been that of a country under siege. Always cleaning up after the last attack, just to be ready for the next one. Most of the time, the attacks have been smaller in scale and were easily managed by using basic defense tactics. Once in a while there were bombers hitting targets that were very important to my line of defense and caused quite a rumble.

One eventful night, the end of the war was in sight and I could almost see the peace treaty. Thinking that was the case I went from my bunker (the costume shop), to home base (my house) to celebrate a little.

Just before the victory party began, what seemed like two nuclear bombs hit one right after the other. Not even leaving time to register the first before the second hit. The rest of the Home base was unaware and we went on celebrating like it was Halloween, (it was).
The hard thing about this ill timed attack was the nature of the bomb. So totally unexpected and unannounced, there was no time to prepare. The attacks are over and now I am left to clean up the mess.

For me there are no Peace Corps coming to my rescue, there is no red cross that can help. This is a private war that must be forged on an intimate scale.

The fact is this; I was walking around campus today, thinking too much, and trying to analyze everything to the smallest degree. When, suddenly a scene presented itself, one that took my breath away. Just a fall scene, but everything was so still and peaceful that it calmed my thoughts and cleared my heart, if only for a moment. Took a picture of it, and realized that at the end of the side walk was a light.

The universe has conspired once again to kick me in the seat of the pants and tell me quite clearly to stop being so dramatic/serious about everything.

The war wages on, but not as bad as I first thought, and not unmanageable in the least.

Define Failure..?...

So, life…. Yeah, that funny thing we all call life. It has a funny way of surprising people doesn’t it? I mean one second you’re the biggest failure in the world because none of your auditions led to anything. Then a call on a phone changes your whole world, and you’re on the ballroom team!!!!

What I mean to say is this,unfortunately, sometimes you just have to be patient.

In case you didn’t notice, I made the beginning Ballroom team at my college. This is a big thing for me, because I really don’t dance all that often. So far it has been one of the most fun activities I have done in college. (And it just barely began!!!)

But that’s not all my friend, oh no, it’s not.

The day before I was called to be the fill in for a drop out on the team, I was feeling very uninvolved. I wasn’t cast in any shows; I wasn’t even working the stage crew for them. So I was talking to a friend and she told me that the Vaudeville staff needed a new publicity Rep. Sure, I thought, why not?

For those of you who don’t know, Vaudeville is a student run open mike night that is held at a local coffee shop every Thursday night. It is a great opportunity to perform whatever you happen to be working on or just perform something you have always wanted to do.

Being Publicity Rep isn’t going to be that big of a job, but it means that I am involved with the Theatre! I get to make posters and ads in the newspaper. Design shirts to wear and help get people to came and perform or just come and watch.

Life as a failure isn’t going to be as bad as I thought.

In fact, if this is failing……

I think I’ll keep doing it.

Sup?

So, my sister has a blog and it seems like fun. Therefore, I decided to blog my own life. I know that there are tonz of people just dying to hear what is happening in my life. LOL . This way at least, if I ever get amnesia I will be able to look up my life online. So far, so good.
keep it real.